Animals and Plants (117)
  Animals (108)
  Plants (9)
       Cats (11)        
       Dogs (31)        
       Other (65)        
       Pets (1)        

  Animals

  Cats
Work was like cats were supposed to be: if you disliked and feared it ... it knew at once and sought you out and jumped on your lap and climbed all over you to show how much it loved you.
Kingsley Amis

Definition of a philosopher: a philosopher is a blind man in a dark cellar at midnight looking for a black cat that isn't there. He is distinguished from a theologian, in that the theologian finds the cat. He is also distinguished from a lawyer, who smuggles in a cat in his overcoat pocket, and emerges to produce it in triumph.
Anonymous

Cats don't like change without their consent.
Roger Caras

Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched.
Cervantes

Odd things animals. All dogs look up at you. All cats look down at you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
Winston Churchill

There are no ordinary cats.
Colette

Time spent with cats is never wasted.
Colette

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Oliver Herford

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain

  Dogs
When a dog bites a man, that isn't news. It often happens. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.
John B. Bogart

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Roger Caras

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
Roger Caras

I am as confounded by dogs as I am indebted to them.
Roger Caras

Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.
Roger Caras

We derive immeasurable good, uncounted pleasures, enormous security and many critical lessons about life by owning dogs.
Roger Caras

Odd things animals. All dogs look up at you. All cats look down at you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
Winston Churchill

Girls scream, boys shout; dogs bark, school's out.
W. H. Davies

A Congresswoman must look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, speak on any given subject with authority and most of all work like a dog.
Florence P. Dwyer

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
Max Eastman

Dogs are such agreeable friends...they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
George Eliot

Until one has loved a dog, a part of one's soul remains unawaken.
Anatole France

He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
Benjamin Franklin

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
Christopher Hampton

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Oliver Herford

Dogs are miracles with paws.
Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamppost.
H. L. Mencken

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
William Penn

Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
Leo Rosten

Happiness is a warm puppy.
Charles M. Schulz

That indefatigable and unsavoury engine of pollution.
John Sparrow

I am because my little dog knows me.
Gertrude Stein

I loathe people who keep dogs. They're cowards who have not got the guts to bite people themselves.
August Strindberg

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Leavin' me as happy as a dog with two tails.
Mark Twain

Watch your bark!
Elmer Wheeler

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Bernard Williams

It is a terrible thing for an old woman to outlive her dogs.
Tennessee Williams

Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
P. G. Wodehouse

I can train any dog in five minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer.
Barbara Woodhouse

  Other
Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbour's house, thou shalt not
covet thy neighbour's wife, nor
his manservant, nor his maid-
servant, nor his ox, nor his ass,
nor any thing that is thy neigh-
bour's.

Exodus 20:17, King James Version
Holy Bible

And again I say unto you, It
is easier for a camel to go through
the eye of a needle, than for a
rich man to enter into the king-
dom of God.

Matthew 19:24, King James Version
Holy Bible

He had been kicked in the head by a mule when young, and believed everything he read in the Sunday papers.
George Ade

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
Fred Allen

A wise old owl lived in an oak.
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird.

Anonymous

An elephant never forgets.
Anonymous

The codfish lays ten thousand eggs
The homely hen lays one.
The codfish never cackles
To tell you that she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the humble hen we prize,
Which only goes to show you
That it pays to advertise.

Anonymous

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,
I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

W. H. Auden

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley

No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
William Blake

In real life, of course, it is the hare who wins. Every time. Look around you. And in any case it is my contention that Aesop was writing for the tortoise market ... Hares have no time to read. They are too busy winning the game.
Anita Brookner

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language.
Martin Buber

To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter ... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life.
John Burroughs

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
Samuel Butler

You can be a murderous tyrant and the world will remember you fondly but fuck one horse and you will be a horse fucker for all of eternity.
Catherine

Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song.
Rachel Carson

When a person is born, he can embark on only one of three roads of life: if you go right, the wolves will eat you; if you go left, you'll eat the wolves; if you go straight, you'll eat yourself.
Anton Chekhov

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.
G. K. Chesterton

Heroes are not judged for their prowess in hunting and shooting tigers, but rather for their strength and ability to endure the humiliation of being pigs.
Chin-Ning Chu

Dictators ride to and fro on tigers they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
Winston Churchill

Odd things animals. All dogs look up at you. All cats look down at you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
Winston Churchill

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
Winston Churchill

The art of taxation consists in plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.
Jean-Baptiste Colbert

Swans sing before they die; 'twere no bad thing should certain persons die before they sing.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact elephants often consult me.
Noël Coward

A mountain in labour shouted so loud that everyone, summoned by the noise, ran up expecting that she would be delivered of a city bigger than Paris; she brought forth a mouse.
Jean de La Fontaine

Is man an ape or an angel? Now I am on the side of the angels.
Benjamin Disraeli

Must, bid the Morn awake,
Sad Winter now declines,
Each Bird doth choose a mate,
This day's Saint Valentine's;
For that good Bishop's sake
Get up, and let us see
What Beauty it shall be
That Fortune us assigns.

Michael Drayton

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.
Benjamin Franklin

The rooster makes more racket than the hen that lays the egg.
Joel Chandler Harris

Man is the animal that draws lines which he himself then stumbles over.
Piet Hein

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Oliver Herford

Man is the only animal that plays poker.
Don Herold

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Langston Hughes

Beauty for some provides escape,
Who gain a happiness in eyeing
The gorgeous buttocks of the ape
Or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying.

Aldous Huxley

Fly fishing may be a very pleasant amusement; but angling or float fishing I can only compare to a stick and a string, with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.
Samuel Johnson

I don't like to hire consultants. They're like castrated bulls: all they can do is advise.
Victor Kiam

Media people should have long noses like an elephant to smell out politicians, mayors, prime ministers and businessmen. We need to know the reality, the good and the bad, not just the appearance.
Dalai Lama

His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death.
Abraham Lincoln

When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground, and swish my tail.
Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and only the pig enjoys himself.
Mark McCormack

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
H. L. Mencken

It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
John Stuart Mill

Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.
Malcolm Muggeridge

I feel these days like a very large flamingo. No matter what way I turn, there is always a very large bill.
Joseph O'Connor

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell

Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
William Penn

I come from an environment where, if you see a snake, you kill it. At General Motors, if you see a snake, the first thing you do is hire a consultant on snakes.
Ross Perot

Chief executives, who themselves own few shares of their companies, have no more feeling for the average stockholder than they do for baboons in Africa.
T. Boone Pickens

While animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself.
Ayn Rand

I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?

Rumi

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance.
John Ruskin

Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head.

William Shakespeare

I think the most ridiculous sight in the world is a man on a bicycle, working away with his feet as hard as he possibly can, and believing that his horse is carrying him, instead of, as anyone can see, he carrying the horse.
George Bernard Shaw

The natural term of the affection of the human animal for its offspring is six years.
George Bernard Shaw

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him, he calls it ferocity.
George Bernard Shaw

It's better to be the head of a chicken than the tail of a cow.
Stan Shih

There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.
Jonathan Swift

We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
Publilius Syrus

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

Top management is supposed to be a tree full of owls ... hooting when management heads into the wrong part of the forest. I'm still unpersuaded they even know where the forest is.
Robert Townsend

I do love you...as the dew loves the flowers;
as the birds love the sunshine;
as the wavelets love the breeze...
as the angels love the pure in heart.

Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain

Don't sell the steak; sell the sizzle. It is the sizzle that sells the steak and not the cow, although the cow is, of course, mighty important.
Elmer Wheeler

If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself. Character is a by-product, and any man who devotes himself to its cultivation in his own case will become a selfish pig.
Woodrow Wilson

  Pets
Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Oliver Herford

  Plants
Woe betide the man who dares to pay a woman a compliment today ... Forget the flowers, the chocolates, the soft word - rather woo her with a self-defence manual in one hand and a family planning leaflet in the other.
Alan Ayckbourn

Life's too short to stuff a mushroom.
Shirley Conran

Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow.
Jean de Crèvecoeur

I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?

Rumi

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance.
John Ruskin

The man who accepts the laissez-faire doctrine would allow his garden to grow wild so that roses might fight it out with the weeds and the fittest might survive.
John Ruskin

If you have an olive, you want an olive tree. You want a little more. You want the whole tree.
Ted Turner

The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Frank Lloyd Wright

Now she's on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight. But she can climb a tree!
Henny Youngman