Last on Earth

Celebrity

Definition: A famous person; the state of being well known.
Number of Quotes: 62

A celebrity is one who works hard all his life to become well-known and then goes through back streets wearing dark glasses so he won't be recognized.
Fred Allen

A conference is a gathering of important people who, singly, can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen

If you look at films about becoming a man, coming-of-age movies are made with 12-, 16-, 40-, 50-year-olds... For a guy to feel like he's a 100 percent grown-up is almost like giving up. Like admitting that you're on your way into the grave.
Kevin Bacon

Beauty comes in all sizes - not just size 5.
Roseanne Barr

Life, you know, is rather like opening a tin of sardines. We're all of us looking for the key.
Alan Bennett

All the pictures that hung in my memory before I knew you have faded and given place to our radiant moments together. Now I cannot live apart from you ... Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
Sarah Bernhardt

Words are so futile, so feeble.
Charlie Chaplin

When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it.
Ilka Chase

If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
John Cleese

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

The thing that best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.
Bill Cosby

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Jamie Lee Curtis

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields

A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.
Stephen Fry

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland

Life is very insistent; and it always seems to be so when friends sadly leave us.
Alec Guinness

My momma always said, life was like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get.
Tom Hanks

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn

I don't think that work ever really destroyed anybody. I think that lack of work destroys them a hell of a lot more.
Katherine Hepburn

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
Katherine Hepburn

Being in jail is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to think and I believe that I am learning and growing from this experience ... I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world.
Paris Hilton

I'd love to make a movie with Tom Hardy. If we ever got the chance to make a Venom movie together, that would be super-cool, but his movie would have to take place in the MCU because I'm not giving up my ticket in the MCU.
Tom Holland

If you haven't struck oil in your first three minutes, stop boring!
George Jessel

When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground, and swish my tail.
Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise

It is a characteristic of committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every member's recollection differs violently from every other member's recollection.
Jonathan Lynn

I grew up with a lot of brothers and sisters. I did all I could do to really stand out and that nurtured a lot of confidence and drive and ambition.
Madonna

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.
Robert Morley

There are interesting failures. There are prestige failures, and there are financial failures, but this is the sort of failure that gives failures a bad name.
David Niven

A woman is like a teabag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is.
Nancy Reagan

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.
Will Rogers

I don't make jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees.
Will Rogers

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers

Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.
Pete Seeger

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Beverly Sills

The only thing that endures is character. Fame and wealth - all that is illusion.
O. J. Simpson

I think giving up people is a difficult thing.
Sissy Spacek

You see yourself as a good product that sits on a shelf and sells well, and people make a lot of money out of you.
Diana Spencer

What winning is to me is not giving up, is no matter what's thrown at me, I can take it. And I can keep going.
Patrick Swayze

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
Peter Ustinov

We used to have lots of questions to which there were no answers. Now, with the computer, there are lots of answers to which we haven't thought up the questions.
Peter Ustinov

Lawyers should never marry other lawyers. This is called inbreeding, from which comes idiot children and more lawyers.
David Wayne

Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick, tomorrow's senior partner.
Sigourney Weaver

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mae West

I've met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.
Billy Wilder

I believe in my own possibilities, and I feel I can do it all.
Oprah Winfrey

I was like a hit album waiting to be released. I knew my day would come.
Oprah Winfrey

If money is your motivation, forget it.
Oprah Winfrey

The greatest contribution you can make to women's rights, is to be the absolute ... best at what you do.
Oprah Winfrey

Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn't changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes.
Oprah Winfrey

I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine. I want to break off with them.
Henny Youngman

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts eating.
Henny Youngman

My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn't do that. But for $80, they lowered her body.
Henny Youngman

Now she's on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight. But she can climb a tree!
Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

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