Born: June 8, 1957
Birthplace: Windham, New York, U.S.A.
Profile: Author and creator of the fictitious comic strip character Dilbert.
Number of Quotes: 10
A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.
By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.
Consultants eventually leave, which makes them excellent scapegoats for major management blunders.
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.*
Executives can get away with having a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough.
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Nothing defines human beings better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
The biggest change in the workplace of the future will be the widespread realization that having one idiot boss is a much higher risk than having many idiot clients.