|Famous Speech||All Topics||Fill-In Quotation|
Art does not solve problems but makes us aware of their existence. It opens our eyes to see and our brain to imagine.
Art will remain the most astonishing activity of mankind born out of struggle between wisdom and madness, between dream and reality in our mind.
I feel overawed by quantity where counting no longer makes sense. By unrepeatability within such a quantity. By creatures of nature gathered in herds, droves, species, in which each individual, while subservient to the mass, retains some distinguishing features. A crowd of people, birds, insects, or leaves is a mysterious assemblage of variants of certain prototype. A riddle of nature's abhorrence of exact repetition or inability to produce it. Just as the human hand cannot repeat its own gesture, I invoke this disturbing law, switching my own immobile herds into that rhythm.
It is easy to follow, but it is uninteresting to do easy things. We find out about ourselves only when we take risks, when we challenge and question.
My work comes from the experience of crowds, injustice, and aggression ... I feel an affinity for art when it was made a form of existence, like when shamans worked in the territory between men and unknown powers ... I try to bewitch the crowd.
Are all men in disguise except those crying?
I know the colour rose, and it is lovely,
But not when it ripens in a tumour;
And healing greens, leaves and grass, so springlike,
In limbs that fester are not springlike.
At 66 Sandringham Crescent
an upright piano was being eased down
a long flight of stairs by three men
all wearing off-white overalls.
Backward, staccato, two stepped
till the taller of the two men
began to collapse in slow
slow slow motion
and the piano
to the hallway's rising floor
crashing its memories of music:
simple tunes such as 3 Blind Mice,
as well as great meaningful sonatas
of profundity and faraway,
into a scattered anarchic jigsaw
of free-loving volatile
till the stricken piano
lost its memory entirely.
After the ambulance arrived (too late)
one removal man lit a cigarette
and sensing the wide-awake stare
of the householder
tapped the grey ash, with great delicacy,
into the cupped hollow of his left hand.
Praying is another way of singing.
You plant in the tree the soul of lemons.
You plant in the gardens the spirit of roses.
So in the simple blessing of a rainbow,
In the bevelled edge of a sunlit mirrow,
I have seen visible, Death's artifact
Like a soldier's ribbon on a tunic tacked.
The theme of Death is to Poetry what Mistaken Identity is to Drama.
You have a beautiful classy mind but I find you physically unattractive.
A woman's place is in the house - the House of Representatives.
All of the men on my staff can type.
As women, we know that we must always find ways to change the process because the present institutions want to hold on to power and keep the status quo.
I am not a centrist.
I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever I was at a meeting, someone would ask me to get coffee.
I prefer the wordhomemakerbecausehousewifealways implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
I spend all day figuring out how to beat the machine and knock the crap out of the political power structure.
I'm a politician. I run for office. That's my profession.
Imperfect though it may be, the Beijing Platform for Action is the strongest statement of consensus on women's equality, empowerment and justice ever produced by governments.
Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.
Our struggle was political, ideological and economic, and we felt we couldn't make something of ourselves unless we bettered society. We saw the two together.
The establishment is made up of little men, very frightened.
The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.
They used to give us a day-it was called International Women's Day. In 1975 they gave us a year, the Year of the Woman. Then from 1975 to 1985 they gave us a decade, the Decade of the Woman. I said at the time, who knows, if we behave they may let us into the whole thing. Well, we didn't behave and here we are.
We are affirming human rights for all women and girls, acknowledging the full range of diversity that exists, and detailing actions to prevent violence.
We are bringing women into politics to change the nature of politics, to change the vision, to change the institutions. Women are not wedded to the policies of the past. We didn't craft them. They didn't let us.
We are coming down from our pedestal and up from the laundry room.
When I first became a lawyer, only 2% of the bar was women. People would always think I was a secretary. In those days, professional women in the business world wore hats. So I started wearing hats.
Women will change the nature of power, rather than power changing the nature of women.
Women will not simply be mainstreamed into the polluted stream. Women are changing the stream, making it clean and green and safe for all - every gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age, and ability.
Working women wore hats. It was the only way they would take you seriously.
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
Controversial proposals, once accepted, soon become hallowed.
Great Britain has lost an empire and has not yet found a role.
I learned from the example of my father that the manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured.
I will undoubtedly have to seek what is happily known as gainful employment, which I am glad to say does not describe holding public office.
If we learn the art of yielding what must be yielded to the changing present, we can save the best of the past.
It is worse than immoral, it's a mistake.
Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.
No people in history have ever survived who thought they could protect their freedom by making themselves inoffensive to their enemies.
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.
The great corrupter of public man is the ego. Looking at the mirror distracts one's attention from the problem.
The greatest mistake I made was not to die in office.
The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured.
The most important aspect of the relationship between the president and the secretary of state is that they both understand who is president.
Washington is like a self-sealing tank on a military aircraft. When a bullet passes through, it closes up.
We have actively sought and are actively seeking to make the United Nations an effective instrument of international cooperation.
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
After ten years of word processing, I can't even do hand writing anymore.
Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Because the Internet is so new, we still don't really understand what it is. We mistake it for a type of publishing or broadcasting, because that's what we're used to. So people complain that there's a lot of rubbish online, or that it's dominated by Americans, or that you can't necessarily trust what you read on the Web.
Books are sharks... because sharks have been around for a very long time. There were sharks before there were dinosaurs, and the reason sharks are still in the ocean is that nothing is better at being a shark than a shark.
Computers are still technology because we are still wrestling with it: it's still being invented; we're still trying to work out how it works. There's a world of game interaction to come that you or I wouldn't recognise. It's time for the machines to disappear. The computer's got to disappear into all of the things we use.
Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet.
Ever since Newton, we've done science by taking things apart to see how they work. What the computer enables us to do is to put things together to see how they work: we're now synthesized rather than analysed. I find one of the most enthralling aspects of computers is limitless communication.
Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Canada is like an intelligent, 35-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. It comes right up to you and laughs very hard in your face in a highly threatening and engaging manner.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Hundreds of people who've never written before send inDr. Whoscripts. They may have good ideas, but what they fail to realise is that writing for TV is incredibly complicated. They have no idea how difficult it is and what the financial commitment is.
I briefly did therapy, but after a while, I realised it is just like a farmer complaining about the weather. You can't fix the weather - you just have to get on with it.
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
I don't think anybody would argue now that the Internet isn't becoming a major factor in our lives. However, it's very new to us. Newsreaders still feel it is worth a special and rather worrying mention if, for instance, a crime was planned by peopleover the Internet.
I find the difference, for me, between having no money and having quite a bit is that the bills get bigger. And that's it. The lifestyle doesn't change.
I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously.
I have rooms full of little dongly things and don't want any more. Half the little dongly things I've got, I don't even know what gizmo they're for. More importantly, half the gizmos I've got, I don't know where their little dongly thing is.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
I remember very little about writing the first series ofHitchhiker's.It's almost as if someone else wrote it.
I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
I taught myself to play the guitar by listening to Paul Simon records, working it out note by note. He is an incredibly intelligent musician. He's not someone who has a natural outpouring of melody like McCartney or Bob Dylan, who are just terribly prolific with musical ideas.
I think that growing up in a crowded continent like Europe with an awful lot of competing claims, ideas... cultures... and systems of thought, we have, perforce, developed a more sophisticated notion of what the wordfreedommeans than I see much evidence of in America.
I think that the digital media are interesting enough in their own right to be worth originating something in.
I think the idea of art kills creativity.
I think you get most of the most interesting work done in fields where people don't think they're doing art but are merely practicing a craft and working as good craftsmen. Being literate as a writer is good craft, is knowing your job, is knowing how to use your tools properly and not to damage the tools as you use them.
I used to be a great fan of doing crosswords. When you're fiddling around with anagrams, you get wonderful jumbles of syllables that become interesting.
I wanted to be a writer-performer like the Pythons. In fact, I wanted to be John Cleese, and it took me some time to realise that the job was, in fact, taken.
I was the only kid who anybody I knew has ever seen actually walk into a lamppost with his eyes wide open. Everybody assumed that there must be something going on inside, because there sure as hell wasn't anything going on on the outside!
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
I've been trying to... Having been an English literary graduate, I've been trying to avoid the idea of doing art ever since. I think the idea of art kills creativity.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cryI could have thought of thatis a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.
Life is wasted on the living.
Look at a book. A book is the right size to be a book. They're solar-powered. If you drop them, they keep on being a book. You can find your place in microseconds. Books are really good at being books, and no matter what happens, books will survive.
Most of the time spent wrestling with technologies that don't quite work yet is just not worth the effort for end users, however much fun it is for nerds like us.
My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.
Of course you can'ttrustwhat people tell you on the web anymore than you cantrustwhat people tell you on megaphones, postcards or in restaurants. Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.
One of the most important things you learn from the Internet is that there is nothemout there. It's just an awful lot ofus.
People wanted me to do a CD-ROM ofHitchhiker's,and I thought,No, no.I didn't want to just sort of reverse-engineer yet another thing from a book I'd already written. I think that the digital media are interesting enough in their own right to be worth originating something in.
See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise, you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that.
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.
The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
The usual method of finding a little dongly thing that actually matches a gizmo I want to use is to go and buy another one, at a price that can physically drive the air from your body.
There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature. But, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying,Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth.
This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Time is bunk.
To be frank, it sometimes seems that the American idea of freedom has more to do with my freedom to do what I want than your freedom to do what you want. I think that, in Europe, we're probably better at understanding how to balance those competing claims, though not a lot.
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
Wandering around the web is like living in a world in which every doorway is actually one of those science fiction devices which deposit you in a completely different part of the world when you walk through them. In fact, it isn't like it, it is it.
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.
We no longer think of chairs as technology; we just think of them as chairs. But there was a time when we hadn't worked out how many legs chairs should have, how tall they should be, and they would oftencrashwhen we tried to use them.
What the computer in virtual reality enables us to do is to recalibrate ourselves so that we can start seeing those pieces of information that are invisible to us but have become important for us to understand.
When you write your first book aged 25 or so, you have 25 years of experience, albeit much of it juvenile experience. The second book comes after an extra year sitting in bookshops. Pretty soon, you begin to run on empty.
Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.
Years and years ago, I did a game based onHitchhiker's Guidewith a company called Infocom, which was a great company. They were doing witty, intelligent, literate games based on text.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Christmas is over and Business is Business.
Count that day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.
Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.
I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
In the order named, these are the hardest to control: Wine, Women, and Song.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
There are plenty of good five cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter.
There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.
Too much truth is uncouth.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
Years ago we discovered the exact point the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim.
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.
Thomas Jefferson - still survives...
All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse.
This is the last of earth! I am content.
A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.
By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.
Consultants eventually leave, which makes them excellent scapegoats for major management blunders.
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.*
Executives can get away with having a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough.
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Nothing defines human beings better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
The biggest change in the workplace of the future will be the widespread realization that having one idiot boss is a much higher risk than having many idiot clients.
See in what peace a Christian can die.
He had been kicked in the head by a mule when young, and believed everything he read in the Sunday papers.
Those dry Martinis did the work for me;
Last night at twelve I felt immense,
Today I feel like thirty cents.
My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot,
I'll try to eat, but I cannot.
It is no time for mirth and laughter,
The cold, grey dawn of the morning after.
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
It is easy to believe that life is long and one's gifts are vast - easy at the beginning, that is. But the limits of life grow more evident; it becomes clear that great work can be done rarely, if at all.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Every great scientific truth goes through three stages. First, people say it conflicts with the Bible. Next, they say it has been discovered before. Lastly, they say they have always believed it.
A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn't feel like it. An amateur is a man who can't do his work when he does feel like it.
I have never compared myself to my managers ... although I have made some big financial decisions on my own and decided on new investments, I have never involved myself in managerial decisions.
In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country.
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
Giving up your core business in search of a phantom audience is not wise.
If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
We could learn from the Pilgrims by understanding that the Bible is not just a book of how to be nice to people, it is an entire blueprint for the way civilization can be structured.
To accuse is so easy that it is infamous to do so where proof is impossible.
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
While one finds company in himself and his pursuits, he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.
Is it not meningitis?
Patriotism is a lively sense of collective responsibility. Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on a dunghill.
Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.
Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
I never thought of losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
Man, I ain't got no quarrel with them Vietcong.
No, I am not going 10,000 miles to help murder, kill, and burn other people to simply help continue the domination of white slavemasters over dark people the world over. This is the day and age when such evil injustice must come to an end.
The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go ten thousand miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on brown people in Vietnam while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs and denied simple human rights?
Change means movement. Movement means friction.
Once I get into hell, I'll start organizing the have-nots over there.
There was no giving up. Trying and trying. That's what I'm all about.
Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well - let 'em wait.
A celebrity is one who works hard all his life to become well-known and then goes through back streets wearing dark glasses so he won't be recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who, singly, can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Television - a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Television is a new medium, and I have discovered why it's called a new medium - because nothing is well done.
Was she old? When they lit all the candles on her birthday cake, six people were overcome with the heat.
Let's give a welcome to Macaca here.
A stockbroker is someone who takes all your money and invests it until it's gone.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.
It was partially my fault that we got divorced ... I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Instead of receiving the help that she had hoped for, Mr. Cain instead decided to provide her with his idea of a stimulus package.
That the object of the Brahmins in giving up beef-eating was to snatch away from the Buddhist Bhikshus the supremacy they had acquired is evidenced by the adoption of vegetarianism by Brahmins.
I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.
Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart.
Spite is anger which is afraid to show itself, it is an impotent fury conscious of its impotence.
Work was like cats were supposed to be: if you disliked and feared it ... it knew at once and sought you out and jumped on your lap and climbed all over you to show how much it loved you.
The incestuous relationship between government and big business thrives in the dark.
All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
People will forget what you said
Poeple will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel.
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
I hope that's not where we're going, but you know, if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies. They're saying: My goodness, what can we do to turn this country around?
I was told to avoid the business all together because of the rejection. People would say to me, 'Don't you want to have a normal job and a normal family?' I guess that would be good advice for some people, but I wanted to act.
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game.
A Camel is a Horse designed by committee.
A guitarist is only as good as his drummer and bassist.
A man's libido is nine-tenths testosterone.
A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, so there's nothing to cushion the impact when it hits.
A test of whether you have achieved true fame is when a deranged person believes himself to be you.
A wise old owl lived in an oak.
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird.
Accept nothing, challenge everything.
[Accountancy is] a profession whose idea of excitement is sharpening a bundle of No. 2 pencils.
Act quickly... but not too quickly.
Actions speak louder than words.
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
All or nothing, now.
All that glitters is not gold, there's brass and copper or it might be plated!
All the world is mad, except thee and me, and even thee's a little mad at times.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. The trick is learning how hard to throw.
An apple, an egg, and a nut, you may eat after a slut.
An elephant never forgets.
And all the people say?
Anger is a thief who steals away the nice moments.
Another day another dollar.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone truly special to catch your heart.
Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As you move through life, set aside good ideas and give them to others to encourage and inspire.
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
At least those with closed minds never have to worry about their brains gathering dust.
Attitude. The difference between winners and losers.
Attitude: the difference between squashing and being squashed.
Be on the world, not of it...As a waterdrop on a lotusleaf...
Beauty fades away.
Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
Begin with the end in mind.
Better a smartass than a dumbass.
Better lucky than good.
Better smart than beautiful.
Definition of a philosopher: a philosopher is a blind man in a dark cellar at midnight looking for a black cat that isn't there. He is distinguished from a theologian, in that the theologian finds the cat. He is also distinguished from a lawyer, who smuggles in a cat in his overcoat pocket, and emerges to produce it in triumph.
Experience is the comb that Nature gives us when we are bald.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
Getting money is like digging with a needle; spending it is like water soaking into sand.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I love a Martini,said Mabel,
I only have two at the most,
After three, I am under the table,
After four, I am under my host.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal.
If you are planning for one year, plant rice. If you are planning for ten years plant trees. If you are planning for 100 years plant people.
If you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past.
If you tell a lie, it becomes part of your future.
In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
It takes seventy-two muscles to frown, but only thirteen to smile.
It's never right to do anyone wrong.
Keep your government hands off my Medicare.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex; sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Never marry for money, but marry where money is.
On the door to success it says: push and pull.
Publicity is easy to get. Just be so successful you don't need it, and then you'll get it.
She was poor but she was honest,
Victim of a rich man's game.
First he loved her, then he left her,
And she lost her maiden name ...
It's the same the whole world over,
It's the poor wot gets the blame,
It's the rich wot gets the gravy.
Ain't it all a bleedin' shame?
Some time when you're feeling important
Some time when your ego's in bloom
Some time when you feel you are
The best qualified man in the room,
Some time when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow this simple instruction
And see how it humbles the soul.
Take a bucket and fill it with water
Place your hands in it up to your wrists
Take them out and the hole that remains
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.
You may splash all you like as they enter
You may stir up the water galore
But take them out and in just a moment
It will look just the same as before.
The moral of this is quite simple
Just do the best that you can.
Be proud of yourself but remember
There is no indispensable man.
Someone has said that the ideal life is to live in an English country home, engage a Chinese cook, marry a Japanese wife, and take a French mistress.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
The codfish lays ten thousand eggs
The homely hen lays one.
The codfish never cackles
To tell you that she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the humble hen we prize,
Which only goes to show you
That it pays to advertise.
The duty of a newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
The more you invest in technology, actually, the less productive your people are.
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food.
The waist is a terrible thing to mind.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
There are three kinds of lie: a small lie, a big lie and politics.
There are three statements that you should never believe: (1)A cheque is in the post; (2)I am from the Government and I am here to help you; (3)Of course, darling, I will still respect you in the morning.
There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go, if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it. Nobody realized Everybody wouldn't do it. In the end, Everybody blamed Somebody when actually Nobody asked Anybody.
We're born and then we die, what will you do in the meantime?
What the brassière said to the top hat:You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.
When God gave out heads,
I thought He said Beds,
and I asked for a soft one.
When God gave out looks,
I thought He said books,
and I didn't want any.
When God gave out noses,
I thought He said roses
and I asked for a red one.
When God gave out ears,
I thought He said beers,
and I asked for two big ones.
When God gave out chins,
I thought He said gins,
and I asked for a double.
When God gave out brains,
I thought He said trains
and I said I'd take the next one.
When God gave out legs,
I thought He said kegs,
so I ordered two fat ones.
Since then I'm trying to listen better.
When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
If he still should prove refractory,
Show a picture of a factory.
Only in the gravest cases
Should you show the clients' faces.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Women's faults are many
Men have only two:
Everything they say
And everything they do.
You ain't learnin' nothing when you're talking.
You don't have to be mad to work here - but it helps.
I'm a believer in finding a passion, hard work and definitely not giving up on your dream.
Men their rights and nothing more; women their rights and nothing less.
I was trying to find out what it was that everybody else understood without giving up my stubborn and hard-won lack of understanding.
Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father. Monsieur, I beg your pardon.
Experience is a great teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.
Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
There's an app for that.
I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill.
Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.
One lesson a man learns from Harvard Business School is that an executive is only as good as his health.
Never sing in chorus, if you want to be heard.
I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.
The nice girl thinks she's giving up something to get something better in return. She gives up control over her own life. When the time comes for her to get what she expected, she winds up disappointed. In addition to being empty-handed, she's depleted.
Managers who are skilled communicators may also be good at covering up real problems.
Any one can get angry - that is easy - or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for every one, nor is it easy.
Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.
Some men are just as firmly convinced of what they think as others are of what they know.
Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Wicked men obey for fear; good men, from love.
The moment when you feel like giving up is right before your breakthrough.
I never doped.
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
The living need charity more than the dead.
I am past thirty, and three parts iced over.
I let previous instances creep up in my thought process sometimes. I think that's where things go awry, and that's where the walks come in. I'm not giving up many hits, just putting them on base for free.
A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.
For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.
God first, family second, career third.
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise.
There are two things people want more than sex and money - recognition and praise.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century, were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester. It is not only the living who are killed in war.
Life is a journey, but don't worry, you'll find a parking spot at the end.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
Am I dying or is this my birthday?
You can take it for granted that I am not going to waste any time thinking about giving up how happy I am at Borussia, in the city of Dortmund, and with this team.
At last the secret is out, as it always must come in the end,
The delicious story is ripe to tell to the intimate friend;
Over the tea-cups and in the square the tongue has its desire;
Still waters run deep, my dear, there's never smoke without fire.
Happy Birthday, Johnny,
Live beyond your income,
Travel for enjoyment,
Follow your own nose.
I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,
I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.
Love is the beauty of the soul.
This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.
When it comes time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.
Do every act of your life as if it were your last.
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Nothing, but death.
When that glass broke andStone Coldwas making an entrance, and that roof blew off that building, that sends you higher than life or anything that I know of. It's an adrenaline rush you can't explain.
This is not an age of castles, moats, and armor where people can sustain a competitive advantage for very long.
Whenever you fall, pick up something.
Salad. I can't bear salad. It grows while you're eating it, you know. Have you noticed? You start one side of your plate and by the time you've got to the other, there's a fresh crop of lettuce taken root and sprouted up.
Woe betide the man who dares to pay a woman a compliment today ... Forget the flowers, the chocolates, the soft word - rather woo her with a self-defence manual in one hand and a family planning leaflet in the other.