Occupation: Author, Humorist, and Illustrator
Profile: Best known for I'd Pick More Daisies.
Number of Quotes: 17
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
Man is the only animal that plays poker.
Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people.
Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.
The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.
The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
Why resist temptation? There will always be more.
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.