Profile: Awarded the 1925 Nobel Prize in Literature and a 1938 Academy Award.
Number of Quotes: 35
Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you, Mr Shaw, and I know there's famine in the land.
Bernard Shaw: One look at you, Mr Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.
Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
I have nothing to offer you but my strength for your defence, my honesty for your surety, my ability and industry for your livelihood, and my authority and position for your dignity. That is all it becomes a man to offer to a woman.
I think the most ridiculous sight in the world is a man on a bicycle, working away with his feet as hard as he possibly can, and believing that his horse is carrying him, instead of, as anyone can see, he carrying the horse.
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller.
Idiots are always in favour of inequality of income (their only chance of eminence), and the truly great in favour of equality.
If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
The greatest of evils and the worst of crimes is poverty.
The natural term of the affection of the human animal for its offspring is six years.
The price of ability does not depend on merit but on supply and demand.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
What God hath joined together no man shall ever put asunder; God will take care of that.
What if the child inherits my beauty and your brains?
What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him, he calls it ferocity.
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
You see things as they are and ask,Why?I dream things as they never were and ask,Why not?
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Youth is wasted on the young.