Born: March 16, 1906
Birthplace: Liverpool, England, United Kingdom
Died: February 24, 1998
Occupation: Comedian and Violinist
Profile: Regarded as the King of the One Liners. Best known for "Take my wife - please!"
Number of Quotes: 6
I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine. I want to break off with them.
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts eating.
My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn't do that. But for $80, they lowered her body.
Now she's on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight. But she can climb a tree!
Take my wife - please!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.