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A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game.
A Treasury of Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
A Camel is a Horse designed by committee.
Anonymous
A guitarist is only as good as his drummer and bassist.
Anonymous
A man's libido is nine-tenths testosterone.
Anonymous
A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts.
Anonymous
A rolling stone gathers no moss, so there's nothing to cushion the impact when it hits.
Anonymous
A test of whether you have achieved true fame is when a deranged person believes himself to be you.
BBC Radio Quote ... Unquote
Anonymous
A wise old owl lived in an oak.
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird.
Anonymous
Accept nothing, challenge everything.
Anonymous
[Accountancy is] a profession whose idea of excitement is sharpening a bundle of No. 2 pencils.
Time Magazine
Anonymous
Act quickly... but not too quickly.
Anonymous
Actions speak louder than words.
Anonymous
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Farmer's Almanac
Anonymous
All or nothing, now.
Anonymous
All that glitters is not gold, there's brass and copper or it might be plated!
Anonymous
All the world is mad, except thee and me, and even thee's a little mad at times.
Anonymous
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. The trick is learning how hard to throw.
Anonymous
An apple, an egg, and a nut, you may eat after a slut.
Anonymous
An elephant never forgets.
Anonymous
And all the people say?
Anonymous
Anger is a thief who steals away the nice moments.
Anonymous
Another day another dollar.
Anonymous
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone truly special to catch your heart.
Anonymous
Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.
Anonymous
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Anonymous
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Anonymous
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Anonymous
As you move through life, set aside good ideas and give them to others to encourage and inspire.
Anonymous
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
Anonymous
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Anonymous
At least those with closed minds never have to worry about their brains gathering dust.
Anonymous
Attitude. The difference between winners and losers.
Anonymous
Attitude: the difference between squashing and being squashed.
Anonymous
Definition of a philosopher: a philosopher is a blind man in a dark cellar at midnight looking for a black
cat that isn't there. He is distinguished from a theologian, in that the theologian finds the cat. He is also
distinguished from a lawyer, who smuggles in a cat in his overcoat pocket, and emerges to produce it in triumph.
Cornell Law Quarterly
Anonymous
Experience is the comb that Nature gives us when we are bald.
Belgian Proverb
Anonymous
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
French Proverb
Anonymous
Getting money is like digging with a needle; spending it is like water soaking into sand.
Japanese Proverb
Anonymous
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
BBC Radio Quote ... Unquote
Anonymous
I love a Martini,
said Mabel,
I only have two at the most,
After three, I am under the table,
After four, I am under my host.
A Christmas Cracker
Anonymous
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Anonymous
If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as
young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal.
BBC Radio Quote ... Unquote
Anonymous
If you are planning for one year, plant rice. If you are planning for ten years plant trees. If you are planning for 100 years plant people.
Indian Proverb
Anonymous
If you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past.
If you tell a lie, it becomes part of your future.
Anonymous
In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
Old Proverb
Anonymous
It takes seventy-two muscles to frown, but only thirteen to smile.
The Yearbook of Comfort and Joy
Anonymous
It's never right to do anyone wrong.
Anonymous
Keep your government hands off my Medicare.
Health care reform town hall meeting in Simpsonville, South Carolina on July 28, 2009.
Anonymous
Marriage is the price men pay for sex; sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Anonymous
Never marry for money, but marry where money is.
Anonymous
On the door to success it says: push and pull.
A Treasury of Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
Publicity is easy to get. Just be so successful you don't need it, and then you'll get it.
A Treasury of Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
She was poor but she was honest,
Victim of a rich man's game.
First he loved her, then he left her,
And she lost her maiden name ...
It's the same the whole world over,
It's the poor wot gets the blame,
It's the rich wot gets the gravy.
Ain't it all a bleedin' shame?
Cassell's Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
Some time when you're feeling important
Some time when your ego's in bloom
Some time when you feel you are
The best qualified man in the room,
Some time when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow this simple instruction
And see how it humbles the soul.
Take a bucket and fill it with water
Place your hands in it up to your wrists
Take them out and the hole that remains
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.
You may splash all you like as they enter
You may stir up the water galore
But take them out and in just a moment
It will look just the same as before.
The moral of this is quite simple
Just do the best that you can.
Be proud of yourself but remember
There is no indispensable man.
Cassell's Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
Someone has said that the ideal life is to live in an English country home, engage a Chinese cook, marry a Japanese wife, and take a French mistress.
With Love and Irony
Anonymous
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
Anonymous
The codfish lays ten thousand eggs
The homely hen lays one.
The codfish never cackles
To tell you that she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the humble hen we prize,
Which only goes to show you
That it pays to advertise.
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
Anonymous
The duty of a newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
Mencken's Dictionary of Quotations
Anonymous
The more you invest in technology, actually, the less productive your people are.
Anonymous
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food.
Russian Proverb
Anonymous
The waist is a terrible thing to mind.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Anonymous
There are three kinds of lie: a small lie, a big lie and politics.
Time Magazine
Anonymous
There are three statements that you should never believe: (1) A cheque is in the post
; (2) I am from the
Government and I am here to help you
; (3) Of course, darling, I will still respect you in the morning.
Cassell's Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go, if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
Ronald Reagan's office.
Anonymous
This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be
done, and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but
Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it.
Nobody realized Everybody wouldn't do it. In the end, Everybody blamed Somebody when actually Nobody asked Anybody.
Financial Times
Anonymous
We're born and then we die, what will you do in the meantime?
Anonymous
What the brassière said to the top hat: You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.
A Gentleman Publisher's Commonplace Book
Anonymous
When God gave out heads,
I thought He said Beds,
and I asked for a soft one.
When God gave out looks,
I thought He said books,
and I didn't want any.
When God gave out noses,
I thought He said roses
and I asked for a red one.
When God gave out ears,
I thought He said beers,
and I asked for two big ones.
When God gave out chins,
I thought He said gins,
and I asked for a double.
When God gave out brains,
I thought He said trains
and I said I'd take the next one.
When God gave out legs,
I thought He said kegs,
so I ordered two fat ones.
Since then I'm trying to listen better.
Cassell's Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
If he still should prove refractory,
Show a picture of a factory.
Only in the gravest cases
Should you show the clients' faces.
Ogilvy on Advertising
Anonymous
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Honey Fitz
Anonymous
Women's faults are many
Men have only two:
Everything they say
And everything they do.
Cassell's Humorous Quotations
Anonymous
Anonymous
