Born: May 31, 1894
Birthplace: Cambridge, Massachussetts, U.S.A.
Died: March 17, 1956
Occupation: Comedian and Radio Personality
Profile: Self-educated, extraordinarily well read and perhaps the best comic writer in the history of radio.
Number of Quotes: 8
A celebrity is one who works hard all his life to become well-known and then goes through back streets wearing dark glasses so he won't be recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who, singly, can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Television - a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Television is a new medium, and I have discovered why it's called a new medium - because nothing is well done.
Was she old? When they lit all the candles on her birthday cake, six people were overcome with the heat.