Last on Earth - Author C
Last on Earth - Author C
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Each man the architect of his own fate.
Et tu, Brute?
Veni, vidi, vici.
When they ask me,Who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan?I'm going to say,You know, I don't know. Do you know?
I am still alive!
God has forgotten me.
IBM is like the Stepford Wives. It takes the best people from the best universities and colleges and then snips out some part of the brain so that they become mindless clones.
Teamwork is a constant balancing act between self-interest and group interest.
Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face.
It is essential to condemn what must be condemned, but swiftly and firmly. On the other hand, one should praise at length what still deserves to be praised.
What is a rebel? A man who says no.
Without work, all life goes rotten, but when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.
You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.
Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune.
And finds, with keen discriminating sight,
Black's not so black; - nor white so very white.
Give me the avowed, the erect, the manly foe,
Bold I can meet - perhaps may turn his blow!
But of all plagues, Good Heaven, thy wrath can send,
Save, save, Oh, save me from the candid friend!
It takes twenty years to make an overnight success.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can get with a kind word alone.
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
Cats don't like change without their consent.
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
I am as confounded by dogs as I am indebted to them.
Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.
We derive immeasurable good, uncounted pleasures, enormous security and many critical lessons about life by owning dogs.
Why don't you just shut up?
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity.
Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.
If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not you should kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.
Work is the grand cure of all the maladies and miseries that ever beset mankind.
Missionary life is simply a chance to die.
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.
And while the law of competition may be sometimes hard for the individual, it is best for the race, because it ensures the survival of the fittest in every department.
Men who continue hoarding great sums all their lives, the proper use of which for the public ends would work good to the community, should be made to feel that the community, in the form of the state, cannot thus be deprived of its proper share. By taxing estates heavily at death the state marks its condemnation of the selfish millionaire's unworthy life.
The man who dies rich dies disgraced.
Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is what others think you are.
Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don't like their rules, whose would you use?
We are like dwarfs on the shoulders of giants, so that we can see more than they, and things at a greater distance, not by virtue of any sharpness of sight on our part, or any physical distinction, but because we are carried high and raised up by their giant size.
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
That's the reason they're called lessons,the Gryphon remarked:because they lessen from day to day.
The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today.
Then you should say what you mean,the March Hare went on.I do,Alice hastily replied;at least - at least I mean what I say - that's the same thing, you know.Not the same thing a bit!said the Hatter.Why, you might just as well say that I see what I eat is the same thing as I eat what I see!
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you get un-birthday presents ... And only one for birthday presents, you know.
For the first time in the history of the world, every human being is now subjected to contact with dangerous chemicals from the moment of conception until death.
Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song.
A book is simply the container of an idea like a bottle; what is inside the book is what matters.
A day without an argument is like an egg without salt.
Clothes are our weapons, our challenges, and our visible insult.
Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.
Is not this whole world an illusion? And yet it fools everybody.
So I haven't written much lately! So what? Neither has Shakespeare.
What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many?
America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense ... human rights invented America.
It is good to realize that if love and peace can prevail on earth, and if we can teach our children to honor nature's gifts, the joys and beauties of the outdoors will be here forever.
Tax laws also benefit those who have the best lobbying efforts ... and the larger the corporations are, the smaller proportion they pay in taxes.
After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
It is not the style of clothes one wears, neither the kind of automobile one drives, nor the amount of money one has in the bank, that counts. These mean nothing. It is simply service that measures success.
If something pleasant happens to you, don't forget to tell it to your friends, to make them feel bad.
I say what I mean, you hear what I say. That is the end of it.
Old men are like that, you know. It makes them feel important to think they are in love with somebody.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
I praise loudly, I blame softly.
You can be a murderous tyrant and the world will remember you fondly but fuck one horse and you will be a horse fucker for all of eternity.
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
There are two ways to compete - in stable conditions, you plan and you compete on scale. In unstable times, you live by your wits.
Experience is a dim lamp, which only lights the one who bears it.
Diligence is the mother of good fortune, and idleness - its opposite - never brought a man to the goal of any of his best wishes.
Every man is as God made him, and often even worse.
Good painters imitate nature, bad ones spew it up.
Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched.
Who reads much and walks much sees much and knows much.
In our life there is a single color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.
Wisdom comes with talking less frivolously and listening more seriously. The latter implies a learning attitude; the former assumes an air of omniscience that does not exist.
There are two parties involved in every corrupt transaction, typically a government official and a business person. Yet those who pay bribes are often depicted as innocent victims ... The reality is that both parties conspire to defraud the public.
I care more about my country than I do about a 20-year-old pledge.
Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life.
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.
Crime isn't a disease, it's a symptom. Cops are like a doctor that gives you aspirin for a brain tumour.
A woman has the age she deserves.
How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.
Innovation! One cannot be forever innovating. I want to create classics.
Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.
There is no time for cut and dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time!
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
Words are so futile, so feeble.
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.
Every step you take, is a step away from where you used to be.
Don't let poor Nelly starve.
Ay Jesus.
And she was fair as is the rose in May.
He was a verray, parfit gentil knyght.
He was as fresh as is the month of May.
Love is blind.
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too.
I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
If a lot of cures are suggested for a disease, it means that the disease is incurable.
Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given. But up to now, he hasn't been a creator, only a destroyer. Forests keep disappearing, rivers dry up, wild life's become extinct, the climate's ruined, and the land grows poorer and uglier every day.
You only have to start a job of work to realize how few decent, honest folk there are about.
When a person is born, he can embark on only one of three roads of life: if you go right, the wolves will eat you; if you go left, you'll eat the wolves; if you go straight, you'll eat yourself.
When a woman isn't beautiful, people always say,You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair.
Go fuck yourself.
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.
Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.
Journalism largely consists in sayingLord Jones Deadto people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.
My country, right or wrongis a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying,My mother, drunk or sober.
Of all the modern phenomena, the most monstrous and ominous, the most manifestly rotting with disease, the most grimly prophetic of destruction, the most clearly and unmistakably inspired by evil spirits, the most instantly and awfully overshadowed by the wrath of heaven, the most near to madness and moral chaos, the most vivid with devilry and despair, is the practice of having to listen to loud music while eating a meal in a restaurant.
Tea, although an Oriental,
Is a gentleman at least;
Cocoa is a cad and coward,
Cocoa is a vulgar beast.
The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up.
The success of the marriage comes after the failure of the honeymoon.
There is a great deal of difference between the eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
Twenty million young women rose to their feet with the cry,We will not be dictated to,and proceeded to become stenographers.
When men stop believing in God they don't believe in nothing; they believe in anything.
A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way.
Chi! Chi! Chi! Le! Le! Le! Los mineros de Chile!
This is it. This is where it all ends. End of the road. What a life it was. Some life.
The earth is suffocating ... Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
I don't think necessity is the mother of invention - invention, in my opinion arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.
I have a job to do. ... If you think right now I give a damn about presidential politics, then you don't know me.
Heroes are not judged for their prowess in hunting and shooting tigers, but rather for their strength and ability to endure the humiliation of being pigs.
Dictators ride to and fro on tigers they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
Everyone threw the blame on me ... they nearly always do. I suppose ... they think I shall be able to bear it best.
Give us the tools and we will finish the job.
History is written by the victors.
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
I'm bored with it all.
I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is ready for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
I would like to have been examined in history, poetry and writing essays. The examiners, on the other hand, were partial to Latin and mathematics. And their will prevailed ... I should have liked to be asked to say what I knew. They always tried to ask what I did not know.
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations ... The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
Meeting jaw to jaw is better than war.*
Odd things animals. All dogs look up at you. All cats look down at you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.*
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
When I was younger, I made it a rule never to take a strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
Victory has a hundred fathers, but no one wants to recognise defeat as his own.
Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end.
An unjust peace is better than a just war.
As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.
As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old age: first, it withdraws us from active accomplishments; second, it renders the body less powerful; third, it deprives us of almost all forms of enjoyment; fourth, it stands not far from death.
Everything you reprove in another, you must carefully avoid in yourself.
Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.
One should eat to live, not live to eat.
The sinews of war: unlimited money.
I responded in what I thought was the most truthful or least untruthful manner, by saying,No.
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.
We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
The dinosaurs disappeared because they could not adapt to their changing environment. We shall disappear if we cannot adapt to an environment that now contains spaceships, computers and thermonuclear weapons.
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
This time it will be a long one.
I have tried so hard to do the right.
A Harvard professor told me that if there was no Gallup poll there'd be no Bill Clinton.
As we have throughout this century, we will lead with the power of our example, but be prepared, when necessary, to make an example of our power.
But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false.
I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I've never had an affair with her.
When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again.
I don't think they're piling on because I'm a woman. I think they're piling on because I'm winning.
In every era, society must strike the right balance between the freedom businesses need to compete for a market share and to make profits and the preservation of family and community values.
Marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time, and I think a marriage is as a marriage always has been, between a man and a woman.
There cannot be true democracy unless women's voices are heard. There cannot be true democracy unless women are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own lives. There cannot be true democracy unless all citizens are able to participate fully in the lives of their country.
Too many companies, especially large ones, are driven more and more narrowly by the need to ensure that investors get good quarterly returns and to justify executives' high salaries. Too often, this means that they view most employees as costs.
'Tis better to have fought and lost,
Than never to have fought at all.
Though shalt not covet; but tradition
Approves all forms of competition.
Thank you for the change in my life you have given me, the love and closeness of my family and my beautiful daughter. Thank you for using me...
Art produces ugly things which frequently become beautiful with time. Fashion ... produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.
Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.
The art of taxation consists in plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.
I have found some of the best reasons I ever had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top.
Swans sing before they die; 'twere no bad thing should certain persons die before they sing.
Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole.
To most men, experience is like the stern lights of a ship, which illumine only the track it has passed.
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
There are no ordinary cats.
The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer.
Half of our mistakes in life arises from feeling where we ought to think, and thinking where we ought to feel.
Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do best.
I have discovered few learning disabled students in my three decades of teaching. I have, however, discovered many, many victims of teaching inabilities.
A man is as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks.
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
The more we ask, the more we have.
And, it is fair enough: asking is not always easy.
And it is said to be hard to accept ...
So no wonder we have so little.
Women do two thirds of the world's work ... Yet they earn only one tenth of the world's income and own less than one percent of the world's property. They are among the poorest of the world's poor.
A gentleman can withstand hardships; it is only the small man who, when submitted to them, is swept off his feet.
He who learns but does not think is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.
If a gentleman is frivolous, he will lose the respect of his inferiors.
It is only the very wisest and the very stupidest who cannot change.
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them apart.
Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.
The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration.
The Master said,At fifteen I set my heart on learning; at thirty I took my stand; at forty I came to be free from doubts; at fifty I understood the Decree of Heaven; at sixty my ear was attuned; at seventy I followed my heart's desire without overstepping the line.
The superior man is easy to serve, but difficult to please ... The inferior man is difficult to serve, but easy to please.
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.
Things that are done, it is needless to speak about ... things that are past, it is needless to blame.
To be dilatory about giving orders, but to expect absolute punctuality, that is called being a tormentor.
When anger rises, think of the consequences.
When you meet someone better than yourself, turn your thoughts to becoming his equal. When you meet someone not as good as you are, look within and examine your own self.
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
Say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved.
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
Imprisoned in every fat man a thin one is wildly signalling to be let out.
Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice; journalism what will be read once.
First things first, second things never.
I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. But you have to be efficient if you're going to be lazy.
Life's too short to stuff a mushroom.
Accountants and market researchers may be brilliant at examining and analysing facts about the past, but they have no forward vision.
That's what I say about restaurants - the back part is manufacturing, the front part is retailing, the theatre is what holds the whole thing together.
I should paint my own places best.
Painting is but another word for feeling.
The sound of water escaping from mill-dams, etc., willows, old rotten planks, slimy posts, and brickwork ... those scenes made me a painter and I am grateful.
There is nothing ugly; I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may, - light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful.
Not a penny off the pay; not a minute on the day.
Better build schoolrooms forthe boy,
Than cells and gibbets forthe man.
I think there's a terrific merit in having no sense of humour, no sense of irony, practically no sense of anything at all. If you're born with these so-called defects you have a very good chance of getting to the top. That's what's enabled her [Mrs. Thatcher] to turn Britain into a cross between Singapore and Telford.
If you don't say anything you won't be called on to repeat it.
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan,Press on,has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
Danger breeds best on too much confidence.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
The thing that best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.
When you become senile, you won't know it.
Don't touch me, I'll beat your brains out.
Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!
He could go all the way!
Look at that little monkey run!
That little monkey gets loose, doesn't he?
There it is, ladies and gentlemen, The Bronx is burning.
That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you.
The important thing in life is not the victory but the contest; the essential thing is not to have won, but to have fought well.
It's a well-known proposition that you know who's going to win a negotiation: it's he who pauses the longest.
Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
If something comes to life in others because of you, then you have made an approach to immortality.
Government in the U.S. today is a senior partner in every business in the country.
A cardinal principle of Total Quality escapes too many managers: you cannot continuously improve interdependent systems and processes until you progressively perfect interdependent, interpersonal relationships.
Avoid fight or flight, talk through differences.
Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it - immediately.
Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.
The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change.
Your attitude determines your altitude.
Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
I am no good at love
I betray it with little sins
For I feel the misery of the end
In the moment that it begins
And the bitterness of the last goodbye
Is the bitterness that wins.
I can take any amount of criticism, so long as it is unqualified praise.
I have a memory like an elephant. In fact elephants often consult me.
I was delighted to see that you thought I was as good as I thought I was.
Never trust men with short legs. Brains too near their bottoms.
Time has convinced me of one thing. Television is for appearing on, not for looking at.
But what is woman? - only one of Nature's agreeable blunders.
Why I could write as well myself!
Absence of occupation is not rest,
A mind quite vacant is a mind distressed.
Knowledge dwells in heads replete with thoughts of other men; wisdom in minds attentive to their own.
Knowledge is proud that he has learn'd so much; wisdom is humble that he knows no more.
Variety's the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavour.
Adieu to Liberty! Adieu to Fame!
For other gifts, for softer joys I pine;
In one fair breast I wish a mutual flame,
In one fair breast alone to burn with mine.
Habit with him was all the test of youth,
It must be right: I've done it from my youth.
Through a dull tract of woe, of dread,
The toiling year has pass'd and fled:
And, lo! in sad and pensive strain,
I sing my birth-day date again.
I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.
Damn it ... Don't you dare ask God to help me.
The leader is not just a scorekeeper. He is responsible for creating something new and better.
Men are like plants; the goodness and flavour of the fruit proceeds from the peculiar soil and exposition in which they grow.
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out.
For many businesses, the Internet is still a technology in search of a strategy.
Just aslocation, location, locationdefines value in real estate, in business today it's connectivity that equals competitiveness.
America's health care system is neither healthy, caring, nor a system.
The whole business of marshaling one's energies becomes more and more important as one grows older.
That was a great game of golf, fellers.
You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.
Money, it has been said, has two properties. It is flat so that it can be piled up. But it is also round so that it can circulate.
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
My message to the businessman of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife.
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
