Last on Earth - Author A
Last on Earth - Author A
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Art does not solve problems but makes us aware of their existence. It opens our eyes to see and our brain to imagine.
It is easy to follow, but it is uninteresting to do easy things. We find out about ourselves only when we take risks, when we challenge and question.
The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes.
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
Count that day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.
In the order named, these are the hardest to control: Wine, Women, and Song.
Years ago we discovered the exact point the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.
Thomas Jefferson - still survives...
This is the last of earth! I am content.
A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.
By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.
Consultants eventually leave, which makes them excellent scapegoats for major management blunders.
Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.*
Executives can get away with having a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough.
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
The biggest change in the workplace of the future will be the widespread realization that having one idiot boss is a much higher risk than having many idiot clients.
See in what peace a Christian can die.
He had been kicked in the head by a mule when young, and believed everything he read in the Sunday papers.
R-E-M-O-R-S-E!
Those dry Martinis did the work for me;
Last night at twelve I felt immense,
Today I feel like thirty cents.
My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot,
I'll try to eat, but I cannot.
It is no time for mirth and laughter,
The cold, grey dawn of the morning after.
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
It is easy to believe that life is long and one's gifts are vast - easy at the beginning, that is. But the limits of life grow more evident; it becomes clear that great work can be done rarely, if at all.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Every great scientific truth goes through three stages. First, people say it conflicts with the Bible. Next, they say it has been discovered before. Lastly, they say they have always believed it.
A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn't feel like it. An amateur is a man who can't do his work when he does feel like it.
I have never compared myself to my managers ... although I have made some big financial decisions on my own and decided on new investments, I have never involved myself in managerial decisions.
In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country.
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
We could learn from the Pilgrims by understanding that the Bible is not just a book of how to be nice to people, it is an entire blueprint for the way civilization can be structured.
To accuse is so easy that it is infamous to do so where proof is impossible.
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
While one finds company in himself and his pursuits, he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.
Is it not meningitis?
Patriotism is a lively sense of collective responsibility. Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on a dunghill.
Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.
Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
I never thought of losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
Man, I ain't got no quarrel with them Vietcong.
No, I am not going 10,000 miles to help murder, kill, and burn other people to simply help continue the domination of white slavemasters over dark people the world over. This is the day and age when such evil injustice must come to an end.
The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go ten thousand miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on brown people in Vietnam while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs and denied simple human rights?
Change means movement. Movement means friction.
Once I get into hell, I'll start organizing the have-nots over there.
Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well - let 'em wait.
A celebrity is one who works hard all his life to become well-known and then goes through back streets wearing dark glasses so he won't be recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who, singly, can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 a.m. and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Television - a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Television is a new medium, and I have discovered why it's called a new medium - because nothing is well done.
Was she old? When they lit all the candles on her birthday cake, six people were overcome with the heat.
Let's give a welcome to Macaca here.
A stockbroker is someone who takes all your money and invests it until it's gone.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.
It was partially my fault that we got divorced ... I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Instead of receiving the help that she had hoped for, Mr. Cain instead decided to provide her with his idea of a stimulus package.
I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.
Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart.
Spite is anger which is afraid to show itself, it is an impotent fury conscious of its impotence.
Work was like cats were supposed to be: if you disliked and feared it ... it knew at once and sought you out and jumped on your lap and climbed all over you to show how much it loved you.
The incestuous relationship between government and big business thrives in the dark.
All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.
Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
I hope that's not where we're going, but you know, if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies. They're saying: My goodness, what can we do to turn this country around?
I was told to avoid the business all together because of the rejection. People would say to me, 'Don't you want to have a normal job and a normal family?' I guess that would be good advice for some people, but I wanted to act.
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game.
A Camel is a Horse designed by committee.
A guitarist is only as good as his drummer and bassist.
A man's libido is nine-tenths testosterone.
A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, so there's nothing to cushion the impact when it hits.
A test of whether you have achieved true fame is when a deranged person believes himself to be you.
A wise old owl lived in an oak.
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird.
Accept nothing, challenge everything.
[Accountancy is] a profession whose idea of excitement is sharpening a bundle of No. 2 pencils.
Act quickly... but not too quickly.
Actions speak louder than words.
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
All or nothing, now.
All that glitters is not gold, there's brass and copper or it might be plated!
All the world is mad, except thee and me, and even thee's a little mad at times.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. The trick is learning how hard to throw.
An apple, an egg, and a nut, you may eat after a slut.
An elephant never forgets.
And all the people say?
Anger is a thief who steals away the nice moments.
Another day another dollar.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone truly special to catch your heart.
Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As you move through life, set aside good ideas and give them to others to encourage and inspire.
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
At least those with closed minds never have to worry about their brains gathering dust.
Attitude. The difference between winners and losers.
Attitude: the difference between squashing and being squashed.
Be on the world, not of it...As a waterdrop on a lotusleaf...
Beauty fades away.
Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
Begin with the end in mind.
Better a smartass than a dumbass.
Better lucky than good.
Better smart than beautiful.
Definition of a philosopher: a philosopher is a blind man in a dark cellar at midnight looking for a black cat that isn't there. He is distinguished from a theologian, in that the theologian finds the cat. He is also distinguished from a lawyer, who smuggles in a cat in his overcoat pocket, and emerges to produce it in triumph.
Experience is the comb that Nature gives us when we are bald.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
Getting money is like digging with a needle; spending it is like water soaking into sand.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I love a Martini,said Mabel,
I only have two at the most,
After three, I am under the table,
After four, I am under my host.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal.
If you are planning for one year, plant rice. If you are planning for ten years plant trees. If you are planning for 100 years plant people.
If you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past.
If you tell a lie, it becomes part of your future.
In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
It takes seventy-two muscles to frown, but only thirteen to smile.
It's never right to do anyone wrong.
Keep your government hands off my Medicare.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex; sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Never marry for money, but marry where money is.
On the door to success it says: push and pull.
Publicity is easy to get. Just be so successful you don't need it, and then you'll get it.
She was poor but she was honest,
Victim of a rich man's game.
First he loved her, then he left her,
And she lost her maiden name ...
It's the same the whole world over,
It's the poor wot gets the blame,
It's the rich wot gets the gravy.
Ain't it all a bleedin' shame?
Some time when you're feeling important
Some time when your ego's in bloom
Some time when you feel you are
The best qualified man in the room,
Some time when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow this simple instruction
And see how it humbles the soul.
Take a bucket and fill it with water
Place your hands in it up to your wrists
Take them out and the hole that remains
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.
You may splash all you like as they enter
You may stir up the water galore
But take them out and in just a moment
It will look just the same as before.
The moral of this is quite simple
Just do the best that you can.
Be proud of yourself but remember
There is no indispensable man.
Someone has said that the ideal life is to live in an English country home, engage a Chinese cook, marry a Japanese wife, and take a French mistress.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
The codfish lays ten thousand eggs
The homely hen lays one.
The codfish never cackles
To tell you that she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the humble hen we prize,
Which only goes to show you
That it pays to advertise.
The duty of a newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
The more you invest in technology, actually, the less productive your people are.
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food.
The waist is a terrible thing to mind.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
There are three kinds of lie: a small lie, a big lie and politics.
There are three statements that you should never believe: (1)A cheque is in the post; (2)I am from the Government and I am here to help you; (3)Of course, darling, I will still respect you in the morning.
There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go, if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it. Nobody realized Everybody wouldn't do it. In the end, Everybody blamed Somebody when actually Nobody asked Anybody.
We're born and then we die, what will you do in the meantime?
What the brassière said to the top hat:You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.
When God gave out heads,
I thought He said Beds,
and I asked for a soft one.
When God gave out looks,
I thought He said books,
and I didn't want any.
When God gave out noses,
I thought He said roses
and I asked for a red one.
When God gave out ears,
I thought He said beers,
and I asked for two big ones.
When God gave out chins,
I thought He said gins,
and I asked for a double.
When God gave out brains,
I thought He said trains
and I said I'd take the next one.
When God gave out legs,
I thought He said kegs,
so I ordered two fat ones.
Since then I'm trying to listen better.
When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
If he still should prove refractory,
Show a picture of a factory.
Only in the gravest cases
Should you show the clients' faces.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Women's faults are many
Men have only two:
Everything they say
And everything they do.
You ain't learnin' nothing when you're talking.
You don't have to be mad to work here - but it helps.
Men their rights and nothing more; women their rights and nothing less.
Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father. Monsieur, I beg your pardon.
Experience is a great teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.
Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
There's an app for that.
I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill.
Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.
One lesson a man learns from Harvard Business School is that an executive is only as good as his health.
Never sing in chorus, if you want to be heard.
I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.
Managers who are skilled communicators may also be good at covering up real problems.
Any one can get angry - that is easy - or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for every one, nor is it easy.
Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.
Some men are just as firmly convinced of what they think as others are of what they know.
Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
I never doped.
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
The living need charity more than the dead.
I am past thirty, and three parts iced over.
A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.
For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.
God first, family second, career third.
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise.
There are two things people want more than sex and money - recognition and praise.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.
John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century, were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester. It is not only the living who are killed in war.
Life is a journey, but don't worry, you'll find a parking spot at the end.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
Am I dying or is this my birthday?
At last the secret is out, as it always must come in the end,
The delicious story is ripe to tell to the intimate friend;
Over the tea-cups and in the square the tongue has its desire;
Still waters run deep, my dear, there's never smoke without fire.
Happy Birthday, Johnny,
Live beyond your income,
Travel for enjoyment,
Follow your own nose.
I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,
I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.
Love is the beauty of the soul.
This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.
When it comes time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.
Do every act of your life as if it were your last.
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Nothing, but death.
This is not an age of castles, moats, and armor where people can sustain a competitive advantage for very long.
Whenever you fall, pick up something.
Salad. I can't bear salad. It grows while you're eating it, you know. Have you noticed? You start one side of your plate and by the time you've got to the other, there's a fresh crop of lettuce taken root and sprouted up.
Woe betide the man who dares to pay a woman a compliment today ... Forget the flowers, the chocolates, the soft word - rather woo her with a self-defence manual in one hand and a family planning leaflet in the other.
