Jack Benny
Birth Name: Benjamin Kubelsky
Birthdate: February 14, 1894
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Date of Death: December 26, 1974
Occupation: Actor, Comedian, and Violinist
Profile: Best known for
The Jack Benny Program and always being 39 years of age.
Website: http://www.jackbenny.org/
Number of Quotes: 29
39 and holding.
39? Well, I'm not a kid anymore.
Often said resignedly when reminded.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Come on, Maxwell!
Urging the car to start.
Cut That Out! Now Cut That Out!
Directed primarily at bandleader Phil Harris or others mocking him, often while trying to maintain composure.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
I once tried to have a dramatic radio show, but the line fell flat after I said, Don't shoot!
and a woman in the audience shouted, Why not?
I was 39 years old when that happened... and I've been 39 ever since!
I'm 39 years old.
His most famous running gag, claiming this age for decades.
I'm thinking of giving up show business for acting.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Is this the car, boss? It looks like a kiddie car.
Rochester, but Benny's ownership defined the joke.
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jell-O Again?
A frequent, slightly exasperated comment to Mary Livingstone or Rochester about the ubiquitous
dessert served at home, highlighting his desire for luxury contrasting with perceived frugality.
Kiddie Car.
Variation on Maxwell: Sometimes used interchangeably or descriptively for his notoriously unreliable car.
Ladies and gentlemen, will now play...
Mel Blanc as the announcer, often collapsing before finishing the piece title due to boredom/exhaustion.
Maxwell.
The Car.
Modesty is my best quality.
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had
an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Play.
Talking to his violin.
Rochester...
The way Benny called for his valet/chauffeur, Eddie Rochester
Anderson, often with a tone of familiarity, exasperation, or need.
There will be a ten-dollar charge for whining.
There’s only one thing I can say about the guy: he's one of the nicest people I’ve ever stabbed in the back.
Well...
His signature, drawn-out, highly indignant, and often speechless reaction to an insult, a slight on his age, his cheapness, his violin
playing, or his Maxwell. This single word, delivered with perfect timing and inflection, is perhaps his most identifiable vocal trademark.
Your money or your life!
Famously followed by a long pause and then his punchline.
I'm thinking it over!
His iconic, prolonged, exasperated response to the robber's demand. The ultimate expression of his cheapness.
Last on Earth
