Horatio Bottomley
Full Name: Horatio William Bottomley
Birthdate: March 23, 1860
Birthplace: London, England, United Kingdom
Date of Death: May 26, 1933
Occupation: Editor, Fraudster, Member of Parliament
Profile: British Member of Parliament (1906–1912) and (1918–1922). Best known as the editor of
John Bull.
Website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Bottomley
Number of Quotes: 22
A woman never knows how much she weighs, until she is married.
Ah, Mr. Registrar, I see you have managed to keep out of the bankruptcy court yourself.
Spoken to the court official during his own bankruptcy hearing.
Bricks without straw are more easily made than financial statements without facts.
A typical Bottomley-ism,
blending a biblical allusion with a dig at financial scrutiny.
I have been accused of every crime save the one I committed.
A classic Bottomley courtroom
quip, implying the charges were misplaced.
I never wanted to be a millionaire. I only wanted to live like one.
Perhaps his most famous line, perfectly summarizing his philosophy and extravagance.
If England was wise, she would make me Dictator for the duration of the war, and I would win it for her.
Demonstrating his colossal self-confidence during World War I.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.
Often misattributed to others; Bottomley is
one of the earliest consistent attributions.
In the great cathedral of life, a wit is only a gargoyle.
A more philosophical reflection on his own role.
It is not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting.
A cynical and oft-repeated observation on the political process.
Most men are fools, and most fools are married.
My life has been full of mistakes, and I have learned by every one of them.
A statement made with typical bravado, though the lesson was perhaps not learned.
The best way to become a successful criminal is to first become a successful lawyer.
A cynical remark from a man who studied law and later faced it from the dock.
The case? I thought they had thrown in the whole world.
His alleged response when asked if he had seen the case for the prosecution,
pretending to mistake it for a suitcase.
The difference between a good politician and a bad one is that a bad politician can be bought cheaper.
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
There are only two ways to make money: the honest way, and my way.
A boastful and telling admission of his methods.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are honest and those who are in politics.
This is the greatest mistake I have ever made.
Reportedly said upon entering prison, a rare moment of admitted regret.
We are all here, Registrar, in the same boat, and it's leaking like hell.
Another remark during bankruptcy proceedings, trying to reduce the solemnity of the situation.
What poor education I have received has been gained in the University of Life.
When I want a peerage, I shall buy one like an honest man.
A jibe at the sale of honours, claiming his (fraudulent) method was more direct.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, and that's about all you need.
His cynical and practical adaptation of Abraham Lincoln's famous maxim.
Last on Earth
