A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

- A -
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Woody Allen

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
Woody Allen

A man's libido is nine-tenths testosterone.
Anonymous

Marriage is the price men pay for sex; sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Anonymous

There are two things people want more than sex and money - recognition and praise.
Mary Kay Ash

- B -
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James Boren

Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.
Charles Bukowski

- C -
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
Truman Capote

Marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time, and I think a marriage is as a marriage always has been, between a man and a woman.
Hillary Clinton

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp

My message to the businessman of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife.
Edwina Currie

- D -
If a lady says No, she means Perhaps; if she says Perhaps, she means Yes; if she says Yes, she is no Lady. If a diplomat says Yes, he means Perhaps; if he says Perhaps, he means No; if he says No, he is no Diplomat.
Bertrand Dawson

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
Les Dawson

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
Marlene Dietrich

- E -
Birth, and copulation, and death.
That's all the facts when you come to brass tacks:
Birth, and copulation, and death.
I've been born, and once is enough.
T. S. Eliot

- F -
Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes; men who like women never notice what they wear.
Anatole France

We cannot insist only on issues related to abortion, gay marriage and the use of contraceptive methods. It is not necessary to talk about these issues all the time.
Francis I

- G -
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
Cary Grant

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
Matt Groening

You have to penetrate a woman's defenses. Getting into her head is a prerequisite to getting into her body.
Bob Guccione

- H -
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Robert Heinlein

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
Oliver Herford

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
Bob Hope

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.
Art Hoppe

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting to think about than sex.
Aldous Huxley

- I -

- J -
There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
Billy Joel

My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
Erica Jong

- K -
Business is like sex. When it's good, it's very, very good; when it's not so good, it's still good.
George Katona

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
Karl Kraus

- L -
I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how you sleep with your wife.
Philip Larkin

- M -
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
Jay McInerney

We need every human gift and cannot afford to neglect any gift because of artificial barriers of sex or race or class or national origin.
Margaret Mead

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.
George Mikes

It has to be admitted that we English have sex on the brain, which is a very unsatisfactory place to have it.
Malcolm Muggeridge

- N -

- O -
Dating is a social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.
P. J. O'Rourke

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P. J. O'Rourke

I do not support gay marriage. Marriage has religious and social connotations, and I consider marriage to be between a man and a woman.
Barack Obama

What they love to yield they would often rather have stolen. Rough seduction delights them, the boldness of near rape is a compliment.
Ovid

- P -
Free speech is an endangered species. Those intolerants hatin' and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.
Sarah Palin

By the time you say you're his,
Shivering and sighing
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

Dorothy Parker

- Q -

- R -

- S -
As I grow older and older
And totter towards the tomb,
I find that I care less and less
Who goes to bed with whom.

Dorothy L. Sayers

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
George Bernard Shaw

The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
Philip Stanhope

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
Casey Stengel

- T -
A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: Because everything does.
Honor Tracy

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain

- U -

- V -
For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.
Gore Vidal

- W -
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
Andy Warhol

Come up and see me sometime.
Mae West

Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.
Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Mae West

Sex is emotion in motion.
Mae West

When I'm bad I'm even better.
Mae West

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- Y -

- Z -